I feel as if I’m going to die
when each encouraging word that I whisper
to my friends
to the times
that will end
to my mother
those late night
I will fail
I will fail
but will it be that bad?
because success is all I’ve really had.
looking to the past
in all the roles I’ve been cast
the underdog has not usually been one
and my mother told me
“I just want you to have fun”
but when the light is out
those words hold less clout
as the worries speak volumes of temors
you’ll fail you’ll fail you’ll fail.
of course it will never get better.
Imagine it, a situation worthy of Franz Kafka and his famous Metamorphosis , one day, you wake up as someone of the opposite gender. The emotions that run through you, horror, grief for the loss of a major part of your identity, shock, and most importantly, alienation in a place that you should be most comfortable in; your own body. Now imagine that you were born this way, a mind of one gender, trapped in the body of the opposite. The alienation following you from your crib, the fear of questioning who you are and who you were meant to be plaguing all of your social relationships and your confidence in yourself. This is the experience of someone who is transgender. A Metamorphosis that most don’t understand or fear because of social stigma and cynicism.
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